Something giving you the screaming shits? Ask Sweary Bear for help!

Pop your problem in the comments below and Sweary Bear will respond when he can. No fucking promises.

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16 Responses to “What’s your fucking problem?”

  1. Dave said

    Fucking fuck I am in a bad mood. I like this site though. It’s is in a bad mood too.

  2. Dick Butt said

    So both of my parents became fucking lunatics lately and I’m getting as mad as a frog in a sock, with otherwise careless and shit-for-brains people who do fuck all except annoy the living shit out of me. What would you do?

  3. kieran said

    what the fuck do you fuckin’ do when both the fuckin’ world and the fuckin’ internet conspire the fuck against you? Would taking a fuckin’ shit it the fuckin’ woods fuckin’ help?

  4. fuck you said

    something is fucking wrong with me what is it sweary bear

  5. Joanna said

    Please write about Pete Evans.

  6. Simon said

    Sweary,

    Why do chicks on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook et al, think that by training in a gym for 3 hours a day, ‘clean eating’ bollocks, painting themselves orange and performing in shit competitions that no-one other than orange-coloured training chicks give a fuck about, taking steamed cabbage in a fucking container to Grill’d and taking a million photos of their overly muscular backs, think that they’re delivering some sort of self-serving benefit to fucking society?

    There’s one on my Twitter who apparently ‘resolves to make the world a better place’ by posting fitness videos of her, semi-naked, working out in a gym. That might be making something better, but it’s not the world.

  7. BernardK said

    Hey Sweary,
    What tastes sweeter – a Liberal Frontbencher, or a child marxist who thinks everything is unfair, and capitalism should be unwound?

  8. cam said

    omg, there gonna force me to work for the dole, its such a total fucking, fucked up waste of time,
    i left high school after completing my hsc, with no thanks to my alcoholic, lazy, bad teachers who’s only purpose, it seems was to coast through the school year , contributing as little as possible for a nicer future.
    a decade later of hospitality work, in kitchens and housekeeping. i discovered that though i still love cooking and cleaning, i certainly don’t like having to do it commercially, iv also discovered that i hate dealing with the public in general, i would equate the ‘public’ as being a big, stupid, clumsy, mongrel dog that doesn’t know how it appears, or even knows when to stop eating. god-dam , mother fucking pigs, how they disgust me to the very recoils of my flesh.

    now , after a year of being unemployed, i refuse to be subjected to “shit-work” mr abbott says that im to plant trees beside a highway, or maybe clean up vomit in various locations.
    mr abbott, if you have managed to tear yourself away from throwing darts at refugees, and have put down your glass of poor peoples ashes and childrens tears. and now find yourself reading this, let me just say, that you can just bend on over and suck my balls, fuck you, you loanthsome peice of gobshite, when im offered work for god-dam dole, i promise that i will do all in my power to keep inside the required guidelines asked of me to retain my benefits, and that while complying with all rules within the system, i will also be bringing alot of other things to the table, like why im being treated like a slave, how will the project affect my depression , and how its affects my job hunting skills.
    im a bit of a medical wonder also, whenever i find myself in a situation i dont want to be in, i get really sloppy, and careless with any work im doing, i hope i dont get “hurt”as a result, and would hate for anyone else to get injured because i wasnt paying attention . each time im made to go to these pathetic clusterings, it will be my goal to be as useless, lazy, rude, and unpleasant as possible, until they free me.
    i can assure that i will make it my buisness to make life miserable to all those who dare try and tell me what do.

  9. Daryl said

    Thank you Sweary Bear you are a funny bastard, and just like Tony said to me “I value your opinion”.

    But there is another thing…when I think Andrew Bolt; I think ‘shot the Bolt’…is this just a coincidence or is God speaking to me?

    Daryl

    • swearybear said

      Funny you should say that. Andrew Bolt’s wife prefers the term “I did the Bolt”. But of course that’s nobody else’s fucking business.

      And no, unless you happen to be wandering around the desert 5,000 years ago or have just consumed some spectacularly powerful mind-fuck lollies, God is not speaking to you.

      But thanks for asking.

  10. Daryl said

    Back in the early 90s when Tony Abbot first became Minister for Employment he invited me amongst others in for a one on one informal chat about the Job Network and asked my opinions about his brilliant Work for the Dole Scheme…he also made me a cup of tea. As he did so he turned his back on me, we were alone, there was a heavy glass water jug to hand on the table….I did nothing. I feel so guilty – I feel like the blow up boy with the safety pin – I have let myself down. What can I do to rid myself of the awful shame?

  11. Jo Thornely said

    Hi, Sweary Bear.
    It hurts when I go like this.

  12. fucked rightoff said

    So this fucking CUNT at work has a so called medical issue which makes her cough and clear her fucking throat every 15-30 seconds. The medical problem is she’s so fucking fat her throat is even obese and choking itself to death. Meanwhile She is a rude fucking bitch to everyone and I want to see her banished to a soundproof room so we can all work in peace and not get permanent noise induced hearing loss from having headphones in and cranked to 11 to drown the cunt out. Rant over.

  13. Brook McCarthy said

    Why don’t people answer back? They ask you for quotes, they ask questions, they send emails.
    You go to the bloody bother of responding, with all the thought, care and time that this entails and they can’t even be bothered responding. Even after you provoke them.

Go on then. Have a go.

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