“We’re moving forward”
means
“We’re standing around scratching our arses and talking about how fucked it all is.”

“Thank you for that question”
means
“You are a sly prick for asking that question.”

“The climate change debate”
means
“Fuck you, science.”

“The business community”
means
“Rich fuckers who make even more than I do.”

“Working families”
means
“Sad fuckers who can only dream of making as much as I do.”

“Let me be perfectly clear”
means
“I’m about to repeat the same load of crap I’ve been saying all day.”

“I don’t presume to know all the details”
means
“Once I’ve read the comics and finished my eggy soldiers I can’t be arsed reading anything else”.

“I stand by my earlier statement”
means
“I was completely and utterly off my tits when I said that.”


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2 Responses to “Sweary Bear’s Guide to Political Jargon”

  1. Grumpy Old Wombat said

    Shovel ready projects – means Oh Fuck we have been caught out and I need to deflect attention to a completely useless project we can start tomorrow.

    That is not what I meant – means that he gobbed off half pissed and has invoked the ire of some fringe group and needs to back peddle and weasel out of what he meant.

    My learned opposition member – the deluded fuck wit on the opposite side of politics

    The ABC has revealed – our free publicity machine composed of left wing Labor spin doctors have released a statement supporting our announcement.

  2. Geared4war said

    Do not forget the commonly used:
    It’s time for someone to do something.

    It usually means “anyone but me. Or my party. Or the media. Or anyone that can actually achieve something.”

Go on then. Have a go.

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