Do you know a First World Problem from a Real Problem? Do you have the first fucking idea what it’s like to live somewhere without fast internet, clean drinking water or squid-ink pasta? Take Sweary Bear’s quiz to find out!

1.    I’m so tired all the time. I think it’s because:

a)    My chakras are all out of whack;

b)    There’s a flickering light near my desk;

c)    I eat too many carbs after 3pm; or

d)    I have to get up early to search the garbage dump for scrap metal.


2.    I couldn’t get to a job interview for a Social Media Expert role because:

a)    The GPS on my iPhone was fucked;

b)    The air conditioning in my car made my hair too frizzy;

c)    I got stuck in the lift for a full twenty minutes; or

d)    My legs were blown off by a land mine.


3.    Today at lunchtime:

a)    There was too much tofu in my salad;

b)    There was no dressing on my salad;

c)    There was a fucking hair in my salad; or

d)    There was cholera in my salad.


4.    I hate it when I miss:

a)    Jersey Shore;

b)    My laser hair removal appointment;

c)    The good old days when teenagers weren’t so fucking disrespectful; or

d)    The opportunity to go to school because I have a vagina.


5.    My parents are soooo embarrassing because:

a)    They still give me Christmas presents from Santa;

b)    They’ve never heard of LMFAO;

c)    They don’t know how fucking embarrassing they are; or

d)    They were killed as part of an ethnic cleansing campaign.



Don’t be fucking stupid. You don’t really need to check here for the results.

Go on then. Have a go.

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