Not even a fucking flesh wound.

November 11, 2011

Only a retarded cockroach with half a cockroach brain who dropped out of cockroach school to become a drummer could deny that the next federal election will be a fucking doozy.

It’s going to involve the kind of headline-pumping, shit-stirring, muck-raking fun that can only be had when you take an awkward, pre-programmed, charisma-free she-robot, an ousted, pissed-off, silver-helmeted hyper-nerd and a grinning wing-nutted moron from the fucking eighteenth century and shake them up in a bag.

But please, everyone, let’s not get too fucking carried away.

It will be an election, not a war.

It will involve weeks and weeks of ball-achingly dull, smarmy and blatantly brown-nosey ads mentioning ‘working families’, ‘Ma and Pa investors’, ‘who can you trust?’ platitudes and other highly concentrated bullshit.

This will be followed by an otherwise fuckwit-free Saturday being hassled at the local scout hall by partisan retirees shoving ‘how to vote’ leaflets in your face before you make a couple of half-arsed squiggles on a doona-sized piece of paper and shove it in a cardboard slot.

Election promises will not be written in blood.

There will be no actual salvos fired.

It will not be a bloodbath for the losing parties.

THIS is a fucking bloodbath.

Pull your fucking head in, spin-monkeys.

3 Responses to “Not even a fucking flesh wound.”

  1. Here’s the original Swearing Bear – Keith The Moravian Swearing Bear: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/30years/stories/s1292657.htm BRILLIANT – I loved Mikey Robbins doing this, even though he hated it. 🙂

  2. Anna_laTickle said

    You are fucking great…I love bears that swear

  3. Greybeard said

    Someone should give that Bear his own blog. Don’t worry, I’ll let myself out.

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