Not even a fucking flesh wound.

November 11, 2011

Only a retarded cockroach with half a cockroach brain who dropped out of cockroach school to become a drummer could deny that the next federal election will be a fucking doozy.

It’s going to involve the kind of headline-pumping, shit-stirring, muck-raking fun that can only be had when you take an awkward, pre-programmed, charisma-free she-robot, an ousted, pissed-off, silver-helmeted hyper-nerd and a grinning wing-nutted moron from the fucking eighteenth century and shake them up in a bag.

But please, everyone, let’s not get too fucking carried away.

It will be an election, not a war.

It will involve weeks and weeks of ball-achingly dull, smarmy and blatantly brown-nosey ads mentioning ‘working families’, ‘Ma and Pa investors’, ‘who can you trust?’ platitudes and other highly concentrated bullshit.

This will be followed by an otherwise fuckwit-free Saturday being hassled at the local scout hall by partisan retirees shoving ‘how to vote’ leaflets in your face before you make a couple of half-arsed squiggles on a doona-sized piece of paper and shove it in a cardboard slot.

Election promises will not be written in blood.

There will be no actual salvos fired.

It will not be a bloodbath for the losing parties.

THIS is a fucking bloodbath.

Pull your fucking head in, spin-monkeys.

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3 Responses to “Not even a fucking flesh wound.”

  1. Here’s the original Swearing Bear – Keith The Moravian Swearing Bear: http://www.abc.net.au/triplej/30years/stories/s1292657.htm BRILLIANT – I loved Mikey Robbins doing this, even though he hated it. 🙂

  2. Anna_laTickle said

    You are fucking great…I love bears that swear

  3. Greybeard said

    Someone should give that Bear his own blog. Don’t worry, I’ll let myself out.

Go on then. Have a go.

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